My birth experience with Jonah was good--empowering, easy to recover from--but when I finally decided that I was going to attempt another "Hypnobirth" I knew that I wanted to have a team around me that could better support Michael and me. So, at about week 30 of my pregnancy, I switched from the OBGYN that I had been seeing (and had seen with Jonah) to a midwife whose natural instincts would be more in line with the kind of birth I was hoping for. Karen was all about moving around during labor, using different positions, even birthing in the shower, whatever I wanted to do. However, she only works at a smaller hospital that is less than 10 minutes further away from our house than the hospital where I delivered Jonah--no big deal.
I was much less content as a pregnant lady this time around. Michael would tell you that I complained a lot more. I was more tired, more sore, was having more frequent and more uncomfortable Braxton Hicks, and was ready to be done being pregnant by about week 38. I was usually up 3 or 4 times in the night to go to the bathroom for the last month of my pregnancy because the Braxton Hicks were putting so much pressure on my bladder. I had also convinced myself that this baby was going to come early, maybe as early as 38 weeks, so when I was coming up on 41 weeks I was ornery.
We met our doula, Kari, on the day I hit 39 weeks, which I thought was probably cutting it a little too close. But I had been listening to the Hypnobirthing tracks pretty regularly over the last several months, and I had reread my Hypnobirthing book. But I was really looking forward to having a doula to interact with the hospital staff for us--Jonah’s birth went pretty smoothly, but we had a pushy nurse who wouldn’t let me walk around or be in a position that felt right to me, and we weren’t really in the frame of mind to push against what she was telling us--and to help us work with the tools we had been practicing. Kari also taught us counterpressure positions to help with the intensity of contractions during labor and did relaxation exercises with us, which I found I really craved because it felt like something my mom would do with me if she were able to be here.
The morning of April 11th, I woke up to pretty strong cramping that lasted from about 6:30 to 8:30 AM, but lasted anywhere from 45 seconds to 2 minutes long and were pretty irregular, 10-15 minutes apart and not getting any closer. Despite that, I called Kari at about 9 AM and was told that they needed to be more regular--to either go on a walk to try to speed them up or to take a nap. I hadn’t slept well and Michael was staying home from work because I was potentially in labor, so I decided to go to sleep to gear up for the real thing. By the time I went back to sleep, things had slowed down, and after my nap the crampy contractions were gone.
Michael slept on the couch that night because he was working late from home and had decided to go into work early the next morning to make up for the fact that he had worked from home 2 other days that week (I had really hurt my back that Monday, but was feeling better by Wednesday). So when I woke up at 5:30 on April 12th with more crampy contractions, I just rolled around in bed by myself for a couple of hours, getting up to go to the bathroom pretty frequently. These contractions were about a minute long, 7-14 minutes apart, and getting closer together (though I didn’t really realize that at the time), but about the same intensity. I was worried that this would be a repeat the day before, and I knew Michael would be getting up at about 7 AM anyway, so I went into the living room and asked Michael if he would come make out with me, hoping to keep the hormones flowing. I had 3 or 4 intense but short contractions in the next 20 minutes, and then the contractions got shorter in length, but much more frequent, 3-4 minutes apart. We started getting ready to go, putting our last toiletries in our bags, getting things out in the car just so we would be ready to move out when we felt like it was time. Jonah woke up at about 7:30 and Michael made breakfast burritos for everyone. While Jonah was eating breakfast, I was blowing raspberries to keep myself relaxed through contractions, and Jonah was pretty confused about what I was doing. I could tell Aly was having stronger contractions than she had previously, but she was handling them so well that I didn’t get the impression that we needed to be rushing to the hospital.
By 8 AM I felt pretty confident that things were moving along, so I texted a screenshot of my contraction timer to Kari. She asked if I could still walk and talk through the contractions, and I responded that I definitely had to breathe through them but that the length had shortened up and I could still walk. She told me that I could maybe go take a bath or a shower, and to keep an eye on the timing. Wild hogs had dug through the flower beds in our front yard and had thrown mulch all over, so Michael went out with Jonah and started putting our yard back together.
Shortly after that, I went through 3 contractions that told Michael it was time to leave. I hung around Michael’s neck for the first and squatted while holding on to his arms for the next 2, and I felt myself starting to get more vocal and shaky. Between those, Michael got Jonah in the car even though I waffled between yes and no when he asked if I was ready to go. Honestly, if I had been required to make the decision I don’t know that I would have decided to leave; things were starting to get more intense but I didn’t really want to leave the house. We were trying to decide whether to take Jonah to the Henderson’s house (who he would be staying with for the next couple of days), 13 minutes away, or to Craig’s house, 4 minutes away. Michael had texted Craig earlier in the morning to see if he was around, but wasn’t able to get a hold of him at that moment, and we didn’t want to intrude. But I was realizing that I didn’t want to be in the car for any longer than I had to be, and things were starting to get more intense, so we started driving to Craig’s hoping that he was willing to take Jonah. We telephoned him again en route to his house, and he confirmed he could take Jonah.
We arrived at Craig’s, and his home teacher Roger Olsen was there, and they offered to give me a blessing while I sat in the front seat of the car. I was worried that I was going to have a contraction in the middle of the blessing, but I had wanted one and hadn’t thought to ask Michael, and the contractions held off while they administered the oil and the blessing. Then the men went to take Jonah and his car seat out of the car and a contraction started. Michael hadn’t installed the car seat or taken it out of the car too many times, so he couldn’t remember how to get it open and I couldn’t talk through the contraction to tell them how to do it. After it passed, I breathlessly told them to push and turn the red button on the front, and they were able to get it out. I felt like a real big idiot… but the release button is basically in a secret compartment that only a trained eye could find. Craig told us later that when he saw how serious things were with that contraction, he was about to tell us to leave with the car seat and he would find one for Jonah to use. I wanted to give Jonah a hug and kiss but resorted to just waving and shouting out that I loved him while we drove away.
The 25-minute car ride was a blur. As we started onto the road to get to the freeway, at 9:08 AM, we were trying to decide whether to try to stop at Kari’s house so she could check my dilation. When it came time to decide whether to turn into her neighborhood or keep going, we decided to just head to the hospital, and she asked us to text her when we had gotten checked in and the nurses had checked my dilation. I turned on the birth affirmation track and tried to keep my head, but I felt myself starting to lose control. I was finding it harder to breathe and getting lightheaded, my hands were cramping up, and I was getting anxious. Michael called Kari, and as soon as she heard my high-pitched yelling, she said that she would meet us at the hospital. Looking back, I was probably in transition during a good part of that car ride. Luckily, Michael is a chill person. He was looking at the GPS on his phone to make sure we made it the hospital, talking to Kari, and trying to keep me calm. This whole car ride was pretty freaky and intense. Aly was screaming. A lot. She lost use of her hands. She was clearly panicking. I tried helping her breath and relax and stay loose, but I was also trying to not get in a car wreck, and also navigate on the GPS. Kind of a scary moment. But despite all of that I felt pretty calm, because there was nothing else to do besides get to the hospital quickly and safely, so that was that. I looked over and he was going 80 MPH in a 65 MPH zone, so I knew that he knew this was serious--he never speeds. We finally made it up to the Conroe city limits (less than 20 minutes into the car ride), when I felt the first urge to push. We weren’t even off the freeway yet. I was hanging onto the hand grip on the ceiling of the car with both hands and definitely screaming. I can only imagine what it would have looked like to a truck driver who could see into our car. The GPS was leading us to the second exit, which honestly would have been a better choice, but when I went to my prenatal appointments I always took the first exit. I screamed, “THIS EXIT!” and Michael swung across a couple of lanes of traffic, just for us to be stopped at all three of the stoplights between the exit and the hospital (the other exit had no stoplights). We laugh about it now; it was absolutely a scene out of a ridiculous movie.
We pulled into the parking lot and there were no open spots in the first couple of rows. I could barely get out of the car, but luckily a sweet old man was driving by in a golf cart, and Michael flagged him down. I hobbled over and kneeled down in the seat (after hanging on my neck for a contraction), and he whisked us to the front doors and called out to the front desk for a wheelchair. I wasn’t about to sit down, so I told them I would walk, but I only got about halfway to the elevator before I had to lean up against the wall. Michael tried to do some counterpressure, but the nurses were trying to talk to us, and I could feel the baby descending and could only say, “He’s coming. He’s coming now.” The wheelchair reappeared and I once again kneeled down. Up the elevator, into a delivery room, and nurses were trying to get me to lay down so they could put a monitor around my belly. Instead, I started to take off my yoga pants and long-sleeved shirt and climb onto the bed on my hands and knees, despite the protestations of nurses telling me I could do that later. I badly wanted to stay on my hands and knees, and Michael insisted that I stay in whatever position was most comfortable for me. I did a much better job this time of telling the nurse what we wanted instead of letting them tell Aly what to do. They were able to take the baby’s heart rate intermittently over the next few minutes, and as far as I know it all looked normal. At some point someone gave me a peanut ball to lean on instead of having to stay up on my hands, and I pushed my face into it and squeezed with my arms. My water broke as I pushed, and that brought me comfort later because I was once again GBS positive, and the baby was only exposed to the bacteria in my system in the last few moments of labor.
My midwife, Karen, came in pretty quickly and started pulling on gloves. I heard Kari come into the room and ask, “What is she dilated to?” and a nurse replied, “She’s crowning.” Then Kari came around to the head of the bed, told me I was doing so well, and helped me to take some quick breaths to center myself. I was trying to keep my tone low and to tell my body what to do, so I started growling, “Open.” As I pushed, I found myself talking to him: “Come on, baby.” Karen told me that if I could turn to lay on my side, he would be here. I turned (actually, I think probably Michael and the nurses basically lifted me up and turned me over), gave one more big push, and Karen told me to reach down and grab my baby. I pulled him out and brought him up next to me on the bed. It was 9:57 AM, 11 minutes after rolling into the delivery room. As he came out, he had his first bowel movement and urinated, so we were all covered in all sorts of bodily fluids. Having that warm, wiggly little body on my chest will never not be surreal.  |
| Karen |
Seeing that little baby come out is just an unbelievable moment. So much relief that it’s over for Aly. So much joy to see our new little son. To finally see what he looks like and to hear him cry. There’s nothing like it. At this point I’m mostly still just in a state of shock and awe. I was expecting to spend a least a few hours in the hospital, before we had a baby - not 9 minutes. I’m in awe of Aly and what she has just done. And so relieved that it she handled it so gracefully and it went so quickly.
I think I was in shock because I couldn’t stop shaking, and I just did not feel very good. I had a minor tear, which seemed to take a very long time to stitch up. I handed the baby over to Michael because I didn’t feel like I could hold on to him very well, and he and Kari snuggled him for a while. My postpartum nurse was not nearly as attentive as the nurse I had with Jonah--she just sent me into the bathroom and told me to let her know if I needed anything--but I think that was partially because she was still trying to get me checked into the hospital, and she had a student shadowing her. They also tried to draw blood, and they just couldn’t get it (even though I have awesome veins ;) and I ended up with an enormous bruise in the crook of my arm.
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| Kari |
When all of that was taken care of, Kari massaged my feet with lavender essential oils and lotion, took some photos of all three of us, and went to go get us some sushi and ice cream from the grocery store across the street. We spent the rest of the afternoon snuggling, calling family, and trying to rest. Because labor was so short and I had gotten a decent night’s sleep, I wasn’t nearly as exhausted as I had been after Jonah’s birth. Later that evening, Craig & Leila brought Jonah to the hospital to meet the baby. Jonah was sweet, but less interested in Theo than I hoped he would be. When Craig told him it was time to go back to his friend Preston's house, Jonah said, "Bye, Mommy," and ran out the door--we were so grateful to have someone to take care of him that he loved being with.
When our night nurse came in that evening to take the baby’s vitals, she said she noticed an irregular heartbeat when he was calm. They ended up taking Theo into the NICU to monitor and get a good reading to send to the pediatric cardiologist the next morning. There were several minutes when I was alone with Theo. He was just so tiny, with lots of electrodes glued to his body to monitor his heart rate. And it was a scary moment. Not knowing what could be wrong with his heart. Thinking about that kind of thing, your imagination can go all sorts of places. I said a prayer hoping that he would be OK. We were in there from about 10 PM to 1 AM, and watching that irregular heartbeat on the screen (two normal beats followed by an abnormal one), and looking around the NICU with so many small, sick babies, made my stomach ache. We heard from the cardiologist the next morning; it turns out that an irregular heartbeat is actually pretty common in newborns and is expected go away in the first month or two. Our pediatrician couldn’t even hear it at his 5-day appointment, so luckily it was not anything that we needed to be concerned about. Theo also has a small skin tag on his right ear, and the hospital pediatrician warned us that the kidneys and the ears form at the same time, so doctors used to do kidney ultrasounds anytime there was any ear abnormality. However, because it was so small and only skin (no cartilage), she would just make a note of it for our pediatrician and if anything came up down the road, we would know to take a look at the kidneys first. Theo’s latch has never been that great, either, and the pain of breastfeeding had me in tears every couple of hours. All of these things made me a little more anxious and uptight for the first two days of Theo’s life than I would have liked to be.
We also had no clue what we were going to name this kid. We waffled between a list of about five names for the first day, then waffled between Elliot and Theodore for the second day. Long story short, we will have the name of our next child picked out before we arrive at the hospital. We will also either head to the hospital at the first twinge of labor, or maybe plan on a home birth (if I can convince Michael that it is a safe option). I would really prefer not to have a baby on the side of the road.
I very much regretted not having photos taken of Jonah's birth, so it has been wonderful to have these ones that Kari took of Theo's first hour of life. As someone who is generally pretty reserved, it was a little bit unnerving to see so much emotion on my own face, but I think these photos perfectly capture the pain, relief, joy, and tenderness of Theo's birth.
